I somehow got to the google homepage and saw "Joke of the Day." I read this joke and chuckled. Especially because I am terrified of bears.....
An Atheist and a Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the casue was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
Monday, July 2, 2007
Joke of the Day
Posted by DonnaG at 1:59 PM
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3 comments:
okay that made me giggle. :)
too funny! love it! just cracks me up!
And, yes, I could teach you to make that pincushion and quilt simple stuff, but I'm FAR from any semblance of a seamstress. I want to learn, though. So I doggedly plow ahead, learning little by little.
here is truths about Hadrad Eisa.
HADRAD EISA (HIS NAME IS CHRIST IN THE GREEK LANGUAGE) THE SON OF MARYAM
Eisa is one of Messengers who is stated in Qur'an and Allah (The Only One Almighty, The proper name of Our Creator) had sent him as the Last Prophet to Children of Israel. Jesus is a latinized name. His real name is EISA. His birth date can be 300-400 years B.C. His miracles related to being medical doctor is majority. But at the beginning of birth of Christ, being doctor had not been favorite so much. In addition, according to Taurat and Gospels, all dates between 400-0 years always is skipped. There were very great events in this period. He is not Jewish and Christian. He is a Muslim. He is The Messiah. Messiah is not savior. It is stated in the Qur'an: 'The Messiah ['Eisa (Jesus)], son of Maryam (Mary), was no more than a Messenger; many were the Messengers that passed away before him. His mother [Maryam (Mary)] was a Siddiqah [i.e. she believed in the words of Allah and His Books (see Verse 66:12)]. They both used to eat food (as any other human being, while Allah does not eat). Look how We make the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, revelations, etc.) clear to them, yet look how they are deluded away (from the truth).' (Al-Maeda; 75)
'And Allah will teach him (Prophet Eisa) the Book and Wisdom, the Law (Taurat) and the Injeel, (Aal- E-Imran, 48)
He is not Word. He is the one of commands of word be. He is not The Truth. He is the one of truths of Allah jalla jalaluh. He is about to Truth. Allah is Haqq (The Truth). Hadrad Eisa and His apostles (They are not apostles of Allah) were speaking Syriac which is one of dialect of Aramiac. But this dialect is different in Syria. Palestinian people were so foreigner to Hellen language so that Roman general Titus felt to got his speech translated when he wanted to speak to people of Jerusalem in A.C 70. In greek Pericletus word means Munhamanna in Syriac. Munhamanna means Muhammad in Arabic. But Christian schoolars have changed Pericletus in Yohannes Bible and took place paracletus word. Hadrad Eisa, had given Glad Tiding of Messenger to come after himself, whose name shall be Ahmed (The nice name of Muhammad (pbuh)). You can see about Hadrad Muhammad (pbuh) parts of Evangelium Barnabe:72, 83, 96, 97, 124. All Christians must know this Glad Tidings of Messenger, believe Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), obey and follow him. It is stated 'And remember, Eisa (Jesus), the son of Mary, said: 'O Children of Israel! I am the Messenger of Allah (sent) to you, confirming the Law (which came) before me, and giving Glad Tiding of Messenger to come after me, whose name shall be Ahmed.' But when he came to them with Clear Signs, they said, this is evident sorcery. ″(Qur'an, As-Saff, 6)
Allah revealed Hadrad Muhammad (pbuh) and it is stated English Translation of the meaning of the Holy Qur'an: O people of the Book! There hath come to you our Messenger (Prophet Muhammad), revealing to you much that ye used to hide in the Book, and passing over much (that is now unnecessary): There hath come to you from Allah a (new) light and a perspicuous Book, - (5; 15)
Verily, those who disbelieve in Allah and His Messengers and wish to make distinction between Allah and His Messengers (by believing in Allah and disbelieving in His Messengers) saying, 'We believe in some but reject others,' and wish to adopt a way in between. (An-Nisa, 150)
His conception and birth represent a first in human history. Creating Adam (first human), without a mother and father, Allah, in time, created Prophet Eisa (Jesus) without a father as well and show this change in his creation as a clear evidence to all mankind. The Qur'anic verses related to this draws attention to his creation: 'Eisa (Jesus) in Allah's sight is like Adam: Created him from dust, then He said to him: 'Be', and there he was. (This is) the truth from your Lord; so do not be one of the doubters.' (Aal-Imran, 59, 60). English Translation of the meaning of the Holy Qur'an. This verse explains that when Allah's power is a matter consideration, other causes are silent and then pen of power prevails. For this reason, one of Eisa names in the Qur'an is 'ruhullah '(a spirit from the Presence of Allah, a spirit proceeding from Allah). Allah is free from to be attributed becoming the owner of spirit.
Almost as soon as he was born, when people began to accuse Mary, Eisa alaihissalam spoke and exonerated his pure mother, Mary; while he was still in the cradle the duty of prophethood that would later be given to him by his Lord was outlined. In the verse that gives the good news of Eisa' birth, it is stated, ' He shall speak to the people in childhood and in maturity, and he shall be (of the company) of the righteous.' (Aal-Imran, 46) his speech is given as follows:' He said: 'I am indeed a servant of Allah: He hath given me revelation and made me a prophet; and He hath made me blessed wheresoever I be, and hath enjoined on me Prayer and Charity as long as I live; (He) hath made mekind to my mother, not overbearing or miserable; so peace is on me the day I was born; the day that I die, and the day that I shall be raised up to life ( again ) ! '(Maryam, 30, 31, 32, 33)
She placed a screen (to screen herself) from them; then We sent her our angel, and he appeared before her as a man in all respects.
He said: 'I seek refuge from thee to (Allah) Most Gracious: (come not near) if thou dost fear Allah.'
He said: 'Nay, I am only a messenger from thy Lord, (to announce) to thee the gift of a holy son.
She said: 'How shall I have a son, seeing that no man has touched me, and I am not unchaste?'
He said: 'So (it will be): Thy Lord saith, 'that is easy for Me: and (We wish) to appoint him as a clear evidence(miracle) unto men and a Mercy from Us': It is a matter (so) decreed.'
So she conceived him, and she retired with him to a remote place.
And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm-tree: She cried (in her anguish): 'Ah! would that I had died before this! would that I had been a thing forgotten and out of sight!' (Maryam, 17-23)
He informed his prophethood to people at 30 years. Hadrad Eisa had conveyed the Message to Children of Israel 2-3 years. Prophet Eisa had conveyed the same message: TAWHID (The Unity of Allah). The Prophet Moses had conveyed the same message (Tawhid) before Prophet Eisa. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had conveyed Tawhid. Salât (prayers), Zakat, Sawm (fasting is presciribed one mounth a year), qısas, recm, have been in the way (Shariah) of Eisa. Hadrad Eisa had done deeds according to Hadrad Moses. Hadrad Moses 'alaihis-salam' was one of the Messenger sent by Allah to the children of Israel. Pork, alcohol are forbidden in the way (shariah) of Moses. Wine is unclean and disgusting. The belief that Alcohol is holy is false. Messenger of Allah only show miracle. It is possible to summarize miracles of Prophet Eisa as follows, according to the way in which they appear in the Qur'an: Raising the dead. Breathing life into a bird made from clay. Making the blind see. Curing leprosy. Giving news of what was going on inside houses. Being strengthened by the Holy Spirit. Bringing down a banquet from the heavens.
But Roman soldiers had guessed Hadrad Eisa is an ilah except Allah when he shown miracles. Hadrad Eisa is not savior. Hadrad Eisa says and it is stated in the Qur'an: '(Allah) is truly your Lord and my Lord; so worship him. That is a straight path.' (Maryam, 36) ''It is Allah Who is my Lord (Rubb) and your Lord; then worship Him. This is a Way that is straight.'' (3, 51) All Messengers of Allah are the handle of eternal salvation and happiness. When Hadrad Eisa had been accepted ilah by some people as a result of extreme and poisonous love, Christians certainly had not obey Hadrad Eisa and excessed on praising Prophet Eisa. Church with trinity is not showing Eisa as a guide. Church never say be like Jesus. Because saying this is synonym for 'be ilah (worthy of worship)'. It's unthinkable. Church have been ensconced the place who had been evacuated from Prophet Eisa. Church jumped queue. This is a lie that Church is salvation. Salvation is Islam.
The prayer of Prophet Eisa (Jesus) is stated in the Qur'an:
Said Eisa (Jesus) the son of Mary: 'O Allah our Lord! Send us from heaven a table set (with viands), that there may be for us - for the first and the last of us - a solemn festival and a sign from thee; and provide for our sustenance, for thou art the best Sustainer (of our needs).' (Al-Maeda, 115)
'If Thou dost punish them, they are Thy servant: If Thou dost forgive them, Thou art the Exalted in power, the Wise.' (Al-Maeda, 118)
And behold! Allah will say:'O Eisa (Jesus) the son of Mary! Didst thou say unto men, worship me and my mother as ilâhaîn (two gods in worship, etc.) in derogation of Allah'?' He will say: 'Glory to Thee! never could I say what I had no right (to say). Had I said such a thing, thou wouldst indeed have known it. Thou knowest what is in my heart, Thou I know not what is in Thine. For Thou knowest in full all that is hidden. (Al-Maeda, 116) English Translation of the meaning of the Holy Qur'an.
No son did Allah beget, nor is there any god along with Him: (if there were many gods), behold, each god would have taken away what he had created, and some would have lorded it over others! Glory to Allah! (He is free) from the (sort of) things they attribute to Him! (Qur'an, Al-Mumenoon, 91)
Certainly they disbelieve who say: Surely Allah, He is the Messiah, son of Maryam; and the Messiah said: O Children of Israel! serve Allah, my Lord and your Lord. Surely whoever associates (others) with Allah, then Allah has forbidden to him the garden, and his abode is the fire; and there shall be no helpers for the unjust. (Al-Maeda, 72)
Certainly they disbelieve who say: Surely Allah is the third (person) of the three; and there is no Ilah but the one Ilah, and if they desist not from what they say, a painful chastisement shall befall those among them who disbelieve. (Al-Maeda, 73)
He (Allah) to whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth: no son has He begotten, nor has He a partner in His dominion: it is He who created all things, and ordered them in due proportions. (Al-Furqan, 2)
And they have taken besides Him ilâhaîn (two gods in worship, etc.), who do not create anything while they are themselves created, and they control not for themselves any harm or profit, and they control not death nor life, nor raising (the dead) to life.(Al-Furqan, 3) English Translation of the meaning of the Holy Qur'an.
88 They say: '(Allah) Most Gracious has begotten a son!'
89 Indeed ye have put forth a thing most monstrous!
90 At it the skies are ready to burst, the earth to split asunder, and the mountains to fall down in utter ruin,
91 That they should invoke a son for (Allah) Most Gracious.
92 For it is not consonant with the majesty of (Allah) Most Gracious that He should beget a son.
93 Not one of the beings in the heavens and the earth but must come to (Allah) Most Gracious as a servant. (Some Verses od Surah Maryam)
People of the Book! Commit no excesses in your religion: Nor say of Allah aught but the truth. Eisa (Christ Jesus) the son of Mary was (no more than) a messenger of Allah, and His Word (command), which He bestowed on Mary, and a spirit proceeding from Him: so believe in Allah and His messengers. Say not 'Trinity': desist: it will be better for you: for Allah is one Allah: Glory be to Him: (far exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belong all things in the heavens and on earth. And enough is Allah as a Disposer of affairs. (An-Nisa, 171) Explanation: People of the Book ( Jews and Christians).
Jews (Mushrikoon) complained him to governor of Jerusalem. One called Yahuda at among apostles betrayed to Jesus. Like is birth, Eisa's departure from mankind was another miracle. Allah did not leave Eisa (Jesus) in the hands of those who wanted to kill him and, in the words of the Qur'an, he was raised to the heavens with another miracle, being taken from among mankind to a different plane of life. Prophet Eisa had been demoted by Allah. Because the children of Israel had denied the clear evidences (miracles) of Allah. They were rebelling to Allah for years. Jews had killed Prophet Zakariya, John (Yahya), Elias (İlyas) in the past. Prophet Eisa and Prophet Yahya were the last blessing to children of Israel. But they denied Islam. In this reason, Allah called back Prophet Eisa deemed the children of Israel disgraced life. They had not crucified Hadrad Eisa. They crucified Judas who was a apostle. He took a bribe 30 coins from Jew schoolars. And he betrayed Prophet Eisa. According to the Qur'an, '...that they said (in boast), 'We killed Eisa (Christ) the son of Mary (Maryam), the Apostle of Allah'-but they killed him not, nor crucified him, but so it was made to appear to them, and those who differ therein are full of doubts, with no (certain) knowledge, but only conjecture to follow, for of a surety they killed him not. Nay Allah raised him up unto His presence ; and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.' (An-Nisa 157, 158). You can see about this subject part 113 in Evangelium Barnabe.
The first idol Who Eisa alaihissalam destroyed is masculine which Roman society had accepted Ilah (worthy of worship). He coventrized this social idol so that He was born without father. It is a good denial for racists and those are who classified creatures that Allah created. Jesus destroyed second idol which is idol of Jewish. The people of Israel who had been entrusted by Allah to protect and obey divine message had misappropriated. The true religion Eisa alaihis salam was soon insidiously changed by his adversaries. In a short time, Christians had falsified his (Prophet Eisa) message and they had told him the son of god by accepting god, far from it.
Allah command Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to ask: Ask the Children of Israel how many clear (Signs) we have sent them. But if any one, after Allah's favour (Taurat and Injeel) has come to him, substitutes (something else), Allah is strict in punishment. (Qur'an, Al-Bagara, 211)
Then, in their wake, We followed them up with (others of) Our messengers: We sent after them Eisa the son of Mary, and bestowed on him the Injeel; and We ordained in the hearts of those who followed him Compassion and Mercy. But the Monasticism which they invented for themselves, We did not prescribe for them: (We commanded) only the seeking for the Acceptance of Allah; but that they did not foster as they should have done. Yet We bestowed, on those among them who believed, their (due) reward, but many of them are rebellious transgressors. (Qur'an, Al-Hadid, 27)
The descent of Sayyidina Eisa (peace be upon him): Hadrat Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) reported the Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying: There is no prophet between me and him, that is, Nabi Eisa (peace be upon him). He will descend (to the earth). When you see him, recognise him: a man of medium height, reddish hair, wearing two light yellow garments, looking as if drops were falling down from his head though it will not be wet. He will fight the people for the cause of Islam. He will break the cross, kill swine, and abolish jizyah. Allah will perish all religions except Islam. He will destroy those are who worship anything except Allah and will live on the earth for forty years and then he will die. The Muslims will pray over him. (Abu Dawud)
Eisa (Jesus) will come to present world as a person in community of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) with Will of Allah. It is stated 'And (Jesus) shall be a Sign (for the coming of) the Hour (of Judgment): therefore have no doubt about the (Hour), but follow ye Me (Muhammad): this is a Straight Way. ' (Az-Zukhruf, 61)
THE BELIEF OF FIRST SIN IN CHRISTIANITY IS FALSE: The belief of first sin is not found in the Holy Books of Allah.
(In addition; some of scholars of Catholic Church have confessed that this belief has no foundation in the Bible. This false belief has not existed from beginning of Christianity to 3rd century in Christianity. Many of Christian scholars has struggled this false belief in 200 years. But at the end, the other Christians had accepted this false belief with the effect of St Agustin in 5th century.)
Every person is sinless and innocent when every person was born. In substance, human is clean. Everybody was born sinless and with responsibility.
Allah chose Adam, Nûh (Noah), the family of Ibrâhim (Abraham) and the family of 'Imrân above the 'Alamîn (mankind and jinns) (of their times). (Aal-'Imran, 33)
It is stated in the Qur'an: … No intimate friend or intercessor will the wrong-doers (unbelievers) have, who could be listened to. (Al-Ghafir, 18)
None shall have the power of intercession, but such a one as has received permission (or promise) from (Allah) Most Gracious. (Maryam, 87) Explanation: With The Will of Allah Hadrad Muhammad (pbuh) will intercede Muslims who has great sins.
Allah revealled to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and It is stated in English Translation of the meaning of the Holy Qur'an. 'And call not, besides Allah, on another Ilah. There is no Ilah (worthy of worship) except Allah. Everything (that exists) will perish except His own Face. To Him belongs the Command, and to Him will ye (all) be brought back. ' (Al-Qasas, 88)
In the paradise, Adam has committed a sin but The sin of Adam belongs to Adam. He never commit a sin in this world. He is the first human and Prophet of Allah in eath. That sin doesn't belong to grandchild. Allah never does like this. Allah is Adl (The Just). Allah jalla jalaluh is free from cruelty. Mankind can be cruel. The atonement is a false and a pervertion. A Prophet and Messenger of Allah, Eisa (Jesus) alaihis-salam, never be in pervertion, far from it. All Messengers of Allah are about to truth and sinless human. This life is a trial. At the Present of Allah, everbody will account for its life in Hereafter.
Who receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent an messenger (to give warning). (Al-Isra, 15)
Confession (one's sins) and forgiving sins by priests, invoking and worshiping Jesus are falsehood, pervertion. There is no authorization and power that a priest call in to being and destroy sin. Allah has not need a mediator to accept to repentance and vice-gerent to forgive sins. Confession of christian is like a new bravery preparation to commit that sin again. It is like that sin dead, then live sin. The repentance in Islam, there is no different to say but what sin dead in such form, come to corpse to raise if you are brave. Confession is an invitation to new sins and to be intimate with sin. The repentance of Islam, the essence of sin is touched and the ferment of sin is changed. Human will be remedy internally. This is a changing at the Present of Allah jalla jalaluh.
Allah created human beings with the potential to be good and evil. He implanted in men the desires that need to be controlled according to the Divine Law. Allah created human beings knowing that they would disobey Him. He thus taught them how to repent and purify themselves. The story of Adam and Eve is a prototype of human beings repeated cycle. They forgot Allah's commandment and were lured by Satan. They disobeyed Allah and afterwards repented and Allah forgave them.
Allah alone forgive sins. Allah is Al-Ghafur (The Forgiver and Hides Faults): Allah is Al-Ghaffaar: The Forgiving (He who is always ready to forgive). Allah is Al-'Afuww: The Pardoner. He who pardons all who sincerely repents.
He is the One(Allah) that accepts repentance from His Servants and forgives sins: and He knows all that ye do. (Ash-Shura, 25)
could you listen pls??
http://youtube.com/watch?v=8pvQd-VTxkM
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