Hospital Food Stinks

I have been wanting to share about my hospital exploits for a few days now. I browsed through my camera, and much to my dismay, found little in the way of rotten pics to show you. I share what I have and hopefully you will have not lost any of the little respect that you may have for me.

Just a warning though. I may get a bit graphic, or sometimes cross the line of what is appropriate for a blogger of my wholesome nature to share. You may wonder if I know what boundaries are.

Tuesday I went to Outpatient surgery thinking that I might be home that evening. I knew in the back of my mind that this might be a bit more complicated than the routine removal of the gall bladder. My radiology reports showed "a wall thickness of 7 mm" (normal is 3), "numerous stones, severe inflammation, moderate infection and interluminal sludge filling the sac." Eeehhhwwww gross. Sounds serious.

I am roused at 8 pm with Lenny telling me that I was there to stay for a few days. Ok, I thought. Then I proceeded to ask him if he had brought my passport. He tells me that he did indeed bring it. The nurse asks me where I am going and I declare, "Paris!" Obviously I was still feeling the effects of the heavenly morphine.

Two orderlies take me to my room, Lenny is at my side and we all join two other men in the elevator. I look around and smile I am told and state, "Look at all of these men around me." Still loving the drugs. Lenny says that he is calling Teen Challenge to see if they can get me into detox.

When I realize the state of things the next morning, I see that I am hooked up to many things. The most obvious is the IV pole which is pumping me with antibiotics and saline. I see the tape and tubes attached to my left hand and decided right then and there that I do not own a left hand. If I can detach from that, then I can deal with the gross needles.

Next are the Sequentials. They are leg wraps filling with and depleting air around my calves and ankles. Interesting. Apparently I need to stay away from blood clots. I have an oxygen tube in my nose that oddly enough brings me great comfort. And now let's not forget the best of it all. I have a pee bag. That's what my kids call it. I have what feels like a garden hose between my legs filling with potty and draining to a bag attached to my IV pole. Ohhhhh yuck.

Over the next few days, I proceed to get a fungus infection from the catheter tube. Hmmm sounds like I need the free clinic. It spreads to the back of my legs and other places. I now have to have the nurse inspect me. Nothing like a pretty young nurse with rubber gloves on lift up my gown and gaze at my yahoo. HUMILIATION people, I tell you.

Ladies, you will love this one. You know that visitor that we get about 12 times a year. Yep, she came unannounced, and quite frankly, unwelcome to visit me in the hospital. My nurse's aid pulls out the maternity underwear that we all get after we push out those kids.

It is quite possibly my proudest vile moment. All I could think of was why in the world we didn't have a laptop right then so that I could blog it.

On Thursday night, Lenny and the kids came to see me. They proceeded to kick me out of my bed, they hopped in and played with the buttons until I kicked them out. I got into bed, my feet were higher than the rest of me and then I found out the bed was broken. The nurse switched with the other bed in my room and red tagged the violated bed. And because of all of that, the bed was rendered unusable, thereby giving me a private room! I love my family.

I came home on my birthday, Saturday, April 26th. It was a good day and I was ready to be home. Prognosis looks great. Sit back, relax, don't push/pull anything, no reaching or lifting anything over 5 ppounds. Yee haw this looks great.

I have a 5ish inch incision and three other little ones. I am of course going to share my "caterpillar" with you. I thought this would rival terrilynne's pics but I think hers are better.