Real Life

EDIT: taking my cue from the comment Michelle made earlier, I checked this out on truthorfiction.com to see if Bill Gates actually said these rules for living. I cut and pasted what I found. The rules that Bill Gates used were his own...but not these. By the way - who cares? These are great rules. I just don't want to give credit to someone when it is not due.

Bill Gates' High School Speech on The Eleven Rules of Life-Fiction!

Summary of the eRumorBill Gates spoke before a group of high school students and gave them his eleven rules of life.
The TruthThis is not from Bill Gates. It's an excerpt from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by educator Charles Sykes. It is a list of eleven things you did not learn in school and directed at high school and college grads.



Got this in an email this morning. It is good.

THIS SHOULD BE PRINTED ON THE WALLS OF ALL SCHOOLS, STARTING IN ELEMENTARY THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.
Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

• Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
• Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
• Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
• Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
• Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
• Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
• Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
• Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
• Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
• Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
• Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

If you are reading it in English -Thank a soldier!

Coke VS Pepsi

Today I went into 7-11 (thank Heaven for 7-11) to get a refill. Now I am a regular in there. They all know me, I know all of their names, I even know some of the other customers in there. I know the Lay's distributor and the Coors delivery guy. By the way, I don't purchase anything from either manufacturer.

This morning, there was another distributor that I had never seen before. He was the Pepsi guy. When I brought my Super Mega Big Gulp up to the counter, he asked me what I had filled it with. I didn't even pay attention to his uniform as I obliviously replied, "Diet Coke of course." He made some funny comment and I looked up and realized why. So I tell him that I do like Pepsi (diet) but I really prefer Coke and I can taste the difference. Here is what he said to me.

"There is a difference. Pepsi is sweeter."

That is exactly what I have been telling people about my preference. I like Diet Coke better because, to me, it is more peppery and Diet Pepsi just tastes like syrup. There you have it. There is a difference and all of you out there that think we Diet Coke people are off our rocker....well, try it for yourself.

It is biodegradeable

This morning I went to the grocery store. As I am walking up to the door of the store, I see this man several yards away from walking toward the store also. As he approached the door, he flicked his lit cigarette into the planter. I was stunned. As I approached the planter, the cig is burnin' away, still bright with flame and smoke rising from the leaves.

I walk into the store ready to go after this guy. As my fate would have it, he was right there in front of me checking out the hot soup selection. If you have read this blog for a while, you already know what I am going to do.

"Excuse me" I say politely

He smiles back, "Oh, yes?"

"I saw you flick your cigarette into the planter" I calmly and still very nicely state.

He stares back at me, dumbfounded.

"That is a bit inconsiderate, maybe, you think?" Not the best grammar, but trying to be nice.

He confidently replies "oh yes I did that but it is ok. It will BIODEGRADE into the soil like it was never there."

WWWHHHhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I think but do not say aloud.

"No, it won't biodegrade back into the soil. It will be left there for a very long time" was my reply.

"I am sorry that I offended you" he lies.

"Sir, it is not so much me that you offended. What about the work that the gardeners did to plant the plants? What about the money that the store paid to plant them? And, what about the health of the plants and the soil? And, well, ok it does offend me because I have to smell it and so do a lot of other people. Yeah, I am offended" I offer back to him.

"When you go back out there to your car, look and see that the cigarette will have turned to ash. Then you'll see that I am right." He says.

Whatever, I think. And walk away.

I can not believe that a grown man would have the audacity to use that argument about a cigarette biodegrading. I wanted to tell him that his lungs were degrading...not bio degrading...just degrading from him throwing his cigarette tar nicotine smoke down his windpipe.

Open Toe Pledge- Hilarious

Alright ladies, it's that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below...

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge. As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend / sister /coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per month and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 or 20 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

I wish I could take credit for this. It is hilarious. This was sent to me in an email and I couldn't wait to post it on the blog after I read it.

Rite of Passage

Something soooooo great happened to Jacob this weekend. He learned how to mow the lawn. Not that exciting, right? Well for an eight-year old boy who has never been been behind a mower before, you would have thought that he had just conquered the world.

Three years ago, when Lenny went to the Julian fire for two weeks, we hired a friend of ours who cuts lawns to cut ours while Lenny was gone. What was to be a one-time deal turned into three and a half years of having a gardener. I didn't mind so much because I knew it would get done regularly without taking time from Lenny. But, recently, watching Jacob grow into his own little manliness, we started to talk about Lenny show Jacob the ropes and let him and his dad do this together. Let Lenny and he share time, let Jacob learn from his dad and spend time together. Plus, the idea of having someone come and do our chores for us wasn't sitting so well with me lately. We wanted Jacob, and Sarah too, to contribute to our house in this way.

And God would have it. Our beloved friend Cliff told us that he was retiring and would no longer be cutting our lawn. Great timing. Lenny and I just had this conversation. Wow, God knows how to confirm, doesn't he?

So this Saturday, Lenny took Jacob out to the backyard and showed him how it was done. He showed him all the parts, how they work, how to dump the grass, all of it. I missed most of it, but at one point, I looked out the back window and saw Jacob making the turn at the fence and come back. He was smiling. When he saw me watching him, HE LIT UP LIKE A 4TH OF JULY NIGHT SKY. He was beaming. He got to the edge of the grass, put the brake on, turned around, released the brake and did another sweep of the grass as if he had been doing it forever. He was soooo cool.

He talked about it all weekend. When he went to bed last night, he was talking about it. When he ate his breakfast this morning, he said that he had dreamt about it. After school, he told me the friends that he had told about it. A friend of ours came over and Jacob told him about it. He is so proud of himself. It is as if he became more of a man this weekend. This is the part of parenting that I love. Oh I love this. I love him and I love Lenny for being the best dad ever in the whole entire world. I love that he is the father of my kids.

This weekend

What a fun, crazy, odd ball weekend we had. Friday, for family day, we did something completely different. Saturday would have been Lenny's dad's 80th birthday. Joe never met the kids as he died three weeks before Jacob was born. He would have been quite excited to have a grandson as he only had granddaughters. So, what we did was take the kids to the cemetary where he is buried. They had never been there before so this was an adventure for them.

There had been a lot of development there since I had been there last and it took us quite a while to find his vault (I call it a file drawer). We got a map and put the kids to work letting them find it. Even Jack went with us and sniffed his way around for someone familiar.

Jacob found it first and then just stared at his own name up on the wall. He was expecting to find Grandpa Joe in the ground with a tall headstone. It took him a while to understand that people can put put in a vault in a wall too. They both said "hi grandpa" and then quietly looked at the surroundings. It was interesting to see them thinking and wondering. There was an empty space near Joe and Jacob asked if we could buy it so he could be put there when he dies so he can be near his grandpa and finally meet him. Aaaaa hhhhhh. So sweet. We told him he wouldn't be meeting him in the wall but in heaven.

On the way home, we had a great conversation about death and what happens. Then Jacob started talking about how he would like to go. He said he wants to go quickly. That is how I want to go to. No worries and no dragging it out. Just take me God when you are ready.

What an amazing day.

Mom's Coffee Break

I was doing a little bit of research for this pull-out group I work with at the kids' school. I stumbled upon this website familyeducation.com. It has lots of info about kids stages and ages. Very interesting stuff. A bit on the liberal side but still informative. But my favorite link was under the MOMS tab. I clicked it and saw another link called Mom's Coffee Break. It has some fun online mind games to play...no not with your husband. Games like Sudoku and crossword puzzles. Thought you might like it so check it out.

Allergies

I have really bad seasonal allergies. Come February, I am taking Zyrtec and walking around with at least two or three tissues in my pocket. I sneeze ALL OF THE TIME and have a constant dripping from my nose and my eyes. It really is bad.

It seems like this past week has been particularly exhausting. Part of this condition is that my nose is either running and/or plugged up. Sleeping for me right now is not really resting. I can sleep, but I constantly wake up. Usually my mouth is dry and my tongue is sticking to the roof of my mouth. It is so gross.

My eyes are dripping. How disgusting is that? Especially my left eye. It is really dripping. And they itch itch itch. I can not wear mascara probably for another two months. When I put it on for church, I have to come home and immediately take it off after church because the watering and itchiness can not tolerate the mascara. I wind up looking like I have a black eye with a red eye. For a while, I thought I had pink eye because of the goo and itch and redness. But no, the rednedss and itchiness is just part of being allergic to something somewhere in the air. Something is blooming right now that does not agree with my sinuses.

And, my nose. My poor nose. It is soooo sore from blowing it, from rubbing it, from itching it. It is usually bright red. And it hurts sometimes not because it is running but because I keep touching it with a kleenex to catch the snot.

I look like I have just rolled out of bed nearly the whole day. I put powder and blush on and usually some lipstick. But after just a short time, all of it is rubbed off because of the constant touching of my face. I really look like Dawn of the Dead. It is gross. And my poor family. They have to listen to me sneeze, blow, wipe and sigh in exhaustion over this.

I have noticed too that this really takes a toll on my physically. I am tired all of the time. I have a headache almost every single day. And, bright light or glare is intolerable for me right now. I can hardly keep my eyes open to even concentrate on things around me. I am dozing in the middle of the day. Don't get me wrong. I love naps, but this is crazy.

Today I realized just how much of a toll these allergies are taking on me. At 9am (yes I know that is early. I told you that I am exhausted). I put my head down for a minute. I thought I was fully aware of everything around me. I could hear the neighbors outside and the radio in the bedroom. The next thing I knew, it was 11:20 am. I had slept through the FUNERAL OF MY FRIEND'S BROTHER. Yes, a friend of mine's, who is also in our Life Group, brother died last week. I had every intention of going to the funeral this morning. I SLEPT THROUGH IT.

I need help. I take Zyrtec which is super strong. But, I think I need something else. Do any of you suffer like this too? What do you do about it?

Family Night

This is what we did for family night! It was great. The kids were mad because after the border was put together, I seemed to have found the pieces to Jack's mouth. I gave him a kiss and Sarah flipped out. She was totally grossed out by it. Yeah, it was weird I suppose.

A Few Things to Ponder....

Becky Browne sent this email to me this morning. I thought they were fun so I thought I would share.

• Can you cry under water?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
• Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? (I know the answer to that one...NO.)
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What disease did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
• Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
• Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
• Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your you-know-what?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

And my two questions that I wonder about are..

• Why are apartments called apartments when they are so close together?
• Why is phonics spelled with a ph instead of an f?

Kids are Rocking Out

I was in the shower just a few minutes ago and could hear the kids doing something VERY LOUD. It didn't sound like arguing or anything like that. It sounded fun but I couldn't figure it out. I get out and I hear both of them singing their hearts out to Come and Go With Me to My Father's House. Jacob was strumming on the guitar and both of them were just singing away. I stayed in the bathroom so I would not interrupt this very cool moment. They were worshipping God on their own, no prompting and on their own terms. It was AWESOME.

I took this picture because I wanted to remember this forever. The pic isn't nearly as wonderful as the moment.

Then Jacob told Sarah to make up her own words while he played. She sang about going out to the yard this morning to see her dog chewing on a dinosaur bone. Then they both sang Bye Bye Miss American Pie. Believe it or not, they know all of the words to that classic.

betcha didn't know

One of my most favorite blogs to visit is Christy's. Ok, probably not a surprise. She always has something cool on hers. Today she has a "Betcha Didn't Know" post of 6 things. She asked for others to do the same. So here goes my list. By the way, I am really digging the list thing. I have thought of a few other titles to lists that I am going to do.


I bet you didn't know this about me....

1. I DO NOT like chocolate. I don't hate it and I do have it sometimes but it usually disappoints me and I wind up wishing I ordered something else.

2. I am a complete language freak. I love language arts, sentence structure, the names of all of the parts of speech, blah blah blah. Drives my family crazy when I walk around correcting them. I have a BA in Spanish. Many of the courses that I had to take were based on language structure and how language works. It absolutely fascinated me and still does. In fact, the other morning I was helping in Jacob's class. The teacher asked the class what the articles were called. I blurt out from my corner "a, an, the." Thankfully, I wasn't too disruptive so she asked me back for the next Friday. But, yesterday, I did it again. Only this time it was about conjunctions.

3. I am very insecure. I constantly question my abilities as a mother, wife, being saved, as a friend. It is very taxing and exhausting.

4. I can burp louder than most men. Ok, probably not a total surprise to some of you.

5. I cry sometimes because I miss my mother/having a mother around. I think probably because I am a mother now. Before my own kids came along, I was a different person. Now, I see her differently and on a whole new level. I miss her so much it hurts.

6. I was in marching band in High School. Yes, I was a complete band dork with the huge black Shako on my head. Played the flute. And it was the best time of my life. Except for the perverted band director my junior year who tried to ...... me. I told on him and he was fired. I know I have some very embarrassing pictures of me in band but I can not find them. This is the best I can come up with. When I find the completely obnoxius ones, I will post them. I am on the right with my friend Michelle on the left. What I can not get over is how flat my tum is. And look at the coat. It actually INVERTS. Wow, I am, or was, a hottie.

Ok, so I am going to put a #7 here. I have been skydiving. That's me with the instructor in tandem. Looks a little inappropriate him and I, but he was there for my safety.

So, either comment or post this same list on your blog. Leave your address so we can all check it out.